GWENThOughTs just transferred to another beautiful spot.

Please check out new posts and even the old ones in this new address.  Follow me on http://www.gwenllana.com

Until then,

Gwen

Every time I woke up to the audio mix of old ladies’ prayers, chirping birds and clanging kitchen utensils, I felt like I was an indie film character who lives in the province and has never experienced city life.  Being a devoted city girl, I honestly found this temporary role very difficult to portray. There’s no one I can blame though, for I freely decided to lock myself in the small barrio, purposely leaving my cell phone and laptop inside my Manila bedroom.

My grandfather left his earthly life at age 96. That’s basically the reason that I came to the province acting like a super star in the unfinished indie film that kept on playing in my head.  His body rested serenely in the humble abode where my mother and her siblings grew up.  Residing in Manila, I was definitely not the closest grandchild of my Lolo Dadoy. We spent time with each other only during my rare summer vacations in his place. I also have no claim to the “pinakapaboritong apo” title even if I was the youngest grandchild since my grandfather seemed to have no favorites while he was still alive.  But there’s one thing I was sure of — Lolo loved me even after his mortal state.  He loved me so much he did me a very big favor (knowingly or not).  He was able to provide his Manila-based granddaughter a valid reason to leave the city, fly to Tacloban  and hide from the things that were keeping her restless for the past few days.  I believed in my heart, Lolo felt what I was going through.

Yes, I came to my grandfather’s island for the wake, and at the same time, I desperately sought solace in it, even for just four short days.  Many thanks, Lolo!

San Rafael, Villareal, Samar (Lolo and Lola’s island as I called it when I was still a little girl) is a small fishing village hidden in the unpublicized part of Western Samar. It is an hour of land travel and a-few-minute boat ride away from the city of Tacloban. This place is the perfect choice for those who wish to experience the uncomplicated, unsophisticated lifestyle.

simple hut near the sea…

coconut husks being dried on the street…

children who flock to you when you bring out a camera…

children who climb trees…

children who catch tadpoles…

the song “O Giliw Ko Miss na Miss Kita”  fills the air… It really made me wonder if the children here have ever heard of Justin Bieber and his songs.

My Lolo’s place offered me neither a thrilling kayak experience nor an exciting night life, but it granted me the solace that I was looking for.  Its simplicity and unpretentious nature refreshed this Manileña’s spirit and reminded me of some life fundamentals that I almost always forget in the city.

Laugh Coz You Mean It

On the second day of my stay in San Rafael, I woke up to the laughing of my cousins and aunts in the other bed room.  They were laughing at optimum level, as if the director of my imagined indie film instructed them to laugh as loud as they could to wake me up.  They laughed really hard, and they laughed for a long while.  A sweet smile was drawn on my face as I listened to them laughing and teasing each other in Waray.   I was entertained by their heartfelt laughter, and I tried to recall the last time I laughed really hard.  It was then that I realized I have not really laughed with my whole heart for the past few months.  I smile, giggle or force a smile, but I do not laugh as much and as real as I used to.

Genuine laughter is one of the things that make the lives of my relatives in the province easier to bear.  When cellphone signal loss, power failure and absence of Facebook access deny you of temporary entertainment, you have to find that inner joy that will allow you to laugh wholeheartedly even under the most inconvenient circumstance.  And when you are able to laugh genuinely even if things aren’t going your way, then life will never be a burden.

Be in the NOW

When I came to my grandfather’s place, I couldn’t help but figure out what happened in the days that passed and worry about what’s going to happen in the days to come.  I pondered on what went wrong in the office, whether or not I chose the right course, why this person caused me pain, etc.  I intentionally left my phone in Manila so I was wondering who sent text messages.  I imagined my expenses booming in the next few months.   This is a common sickness of the city dweller, and it almost ruined my purpose of staying in my grandfather’s place.

Life in the province unfolds slowly and gracefully.  That makes it more charming than the always-hurried city life.  While I was in the province, I learned to live in the NOW, the present, the what’s going on.  I tried hard not to think of the past and the future.  I gave my heart to what I was experiencing at the moment — playing with playful nieces, praying for my Lolo’s soul, walking around the island with my dad, listening to my aunts’ stories.  My heart and mind were not floating elsewhere.  They were present in the moment that needed them.

Surrender

If it’s for you, it’s for you.  If it’s not for you, it’s not for you.  So surrender and take it easy.  Enough said.

My Lolo’s body was buried beside my Lola’s and my uncle’s on the 31st of July.

Thank you for being a responsible father to my mom and a good grandpa to me and my brothers and cousins. Thank you also for giving me an excuse to find comfort in our simple island even for just four short days.  I know you lived your life to the fullest, and I know you are happy.  Rest now, Lolo, and find your place in Happy Heaven.  Your maarte granddaughter will be OK, and she’ll remember the reminders she picked in San Rafael.  Please tell Papa God about the secret wish I whispered to you.  We will miss you and we love you dearly.

Fine!  I admit I halfheartedly packed my things and went to NAIA 3 with my colleagues.  Though many exciting things have been said about this province, my heart wasn’t really pounding in excitement at the thought of having a post-summer vacation in Bohol.  Blame it on the diminishing funds in my bank account. Blame it on the scary thought of airplane turbulence due to sporadic rains in Manila. Blame it on my multi-tanned (Thanks to Laiya, Anawangin, Rizal and Palawan sunshine) skin, which needs to recover from its being tanned.  Blame it on the bewildered state of my whole being at this point in my life.

A little running through the pages of Smile magazine…

A little munching on some chips…

I said my prayers, and then I was fast asleep.

The next thing I knew, the plane was running swiftly on the runway of Tagbilaran City.

DAY 1

Upon stepping on Bohol soil, all I wanted to do was eat.  I was really hungry and sleepy, and the idea of taking photographs of different tourist attractions had no place in my disorientated mind.  Fortunately, our first stop was a restaurant called Chicken Ati-atihan (similar to Chicken Inasal).  The chicken looked so ordinary, but when I took one bite, I knew right away that this version’s a lot better.  1 pogi point for Bohol!

While I was hoping that sleeping inside the hotel was next on the itinerary, the driver/tour guide by the name of Mang Pimyo told us to get ready for the Panglao tour.  That simply meant that the bewildered soul must put on her shades, ready her camera and set aside its being bewildered.

First tourist spot: Dauis Church

“Mam, sa Dawis charch po.”

“Ano po, Kuya?”

“Dawis po, Mam.”

I was trying to recall the list of religions discussed by my Philosphy professor some years ago. Manong was probably talking about Daoism, I figured. Dawis—Daois—Daoism

To my surprise, the church that stood in front of me had a cross on top of it. So it’s no doubt a Christian church, and all of a sudden my Daoism theory vanished in shame.

Simbahan ng Dauis is an old Catholic church (1697) with a neo-gothic, neo-classic architectural design.  Old churches really have a serene atmosphere that inspires me to be quiet and prayerful.  With the angelic singing of a choir as background (Oh, I missed you, LW Music Ministry!), my soul, despite its confusion, found peace in this holy temple.

Next stop: Bohol Bee Farm

Not a fan of bees, but some new info about these buzzing insects caught my attention for a few minutes.  In the bee world, women (or should I say wo-bee?) are on top.  Queen Bee makes babies with every male bee in the colony.  After that, the male bee is already useless, and so he dies at a very young age (say like 40+ days old).  And only female bees have stingers!  Isn’t that kinda feminist?

Two tourist spots down, and my confusions began to evaporate.  My brain was, for that moment, captured by the interesting places reported to it by my  optic nerve.  It was stunned by

…the sight of an  ostrich  (first time to see one in real life)

…the amazingly clear photo captured by a tourist guide (a.k.a. Official Photographer of the Cave) inside the super dark Hinagdanan Cave

… and the old, octagonal structure of the Panglao Watchtower.

The first taste of Bohol tour was interesting enough to keep my energy at least at mid level, and before the sun totally went down, I found myself floating without a care in the waters of Dumaluan 1 Beach Resort. Indeed, no amount of confusion can keep me from seeking the comfort of hydrotherapy.

pictorial with travel buddies before swimming

DAY 2

The second day of my Bohol tour was simply the best!

Beautiful natural scenery + buffet lunch on a floating restaurant = Loboc River Cruise

In addition to this awesome package, there’s free entertainment by the folk singer on board the floating resto and the charming young dancers of Loboc.  In all honesty, I knew quite well the lineup of old songs prepared by the folk singer.  I quietly hummed to the tune of John Denver’s Country Road and Simon and Garfunkel’s Bye Bye Love. Sheesh!  Credits to Mom and Taty.

cute dance moves by the children and relaxing old music by the resto singer

After chillin’ in Loboc, I prepared myself for this very important moment — seeing the Chocolate Hills LIVE via my own eyes.

Bohol tour will not be complete without seeing these famous land forms.  I used to see them on postcards and on a page of my Sibika at Kultura book, but seeing them standing in front of me is an opportunity I’ll forever remember.

posing with my Palawan hat Ashley in front of the Minty Chocolate Hills

Chocolate Hills+ _____ = Bohol

Answer: TARSIER!!!

When I finally laid eyes on these cute primates, I told myself that my Bohol trip was already a success.  I knew they had big eyes and a small body, but I never thought that they’re so charming in real life!

up-close and personal with the tarsier

Other attractions that kept me enthusiastic the whole day were the Hanging Bridge above Loboc River, Mahogany Man-made Forest and the Blood Compact Site.

DAY 3

Not being a morning person, my energy level was very low as I woke up really early on the third day of the Bohol tour. My travel buddies and I needed to be in the middle of the sea at 6 in the morning just to see some dolphins.

still sleepy, sunshine!

As I saw the fins (not really sure what body part I saw) of the dolphins peeping through the big waves, I told myself that it was worth the waking up early.

After the dolphins were Nemo and Patrick (blue version).  Yes! Believe it or not, I saw Nemo and Patrick outside television.  They were in their genuine habitat — the deep blue sea. Thanks to the wonderful art of snorkeling!

finding nemo

nemo with blue patrick

On this third day of our tour, we met a bunch of happy mothers who were cool enough to find time for travel and relaxation.  These moms were probably in their mid  50s.  One of these moms fondly called me her “anak”.  She kept on teasing that I’m her long lost daughter. Haha! Ang kulet!

with the travel-lovin moms

Then we had  a pictorial in Virgin Island.

On our way back to Dumaluan, big, intimidating waves played a trick on our humble boat.  But just like how I was as a little girl tagged along by her marine biologist Mom to the middle of the Samar waters, I sat inside the boat, quiet and calm.  I was even able to sleep while being rocked by the enormous waves.  Bonamine (taken 5 hours before), a bewildered mind that was desperately seeking enlightenment in nature and an authentic straight-from-the heart dialogue with the Heavenly Pop must be the secret.

Seeing the shore of Dumaluan relieved my companions and my empty stomach. At last, we’re on dry land!

We were transferred to another resort named Palm Island Resort, which we found freaky at first. We were the only guests when we arrived. The place was attractive, but the fact that there were no other people there aside from the caretakers and us made us imagine some creepy scenes good enough to create a short horror film (with Wowie de Gusman and Juday as lead characters).   But shortly, after taking our lunch, we found out that the resort was actually for Korean guests only.  Since there were no Koreans reserved for that period, the resort accepted local guests like us!  OK, safe! So we went on with the pictorial and swimming!

Palm Island Resort

DAY 4

It’s pasalubong buying time, but since our flight was scheduled in the morning, stores offering reasonably priced peanut kisses and tarsier stuff were still closed.  We were forced to buy goodies in stores outside the airport. This meant double the price!

Boarded the aircraft at quarter to 10.

Goodbye and thank you, Bohol

The bewildered soul’s body arrived safely in Manila by 11 am.  After 3 days of vacation, the bewilderment was still there, but one thing Bohol made me realize is that you can be happy even if some things aren’t clear.  Even if I was still confused about where my life’s heading to, the splendor of the many creations I witnessed in this province was enough to assure me that things will fall into place someday soon.  After all, this life is being excellently molded by the same magnificent Hands that shaped the Chocolate Hills, the Tarsier and the blue star fish.

For more photos, please visit my online photo album.

For Travel-Loving People:

Travel Dates: July3-6. 2010

Estimated Budget: P8,000

Accommodations: Dumaluan Beach Resort and Palm Island Resort

“Lord, I wanna grow up na. I’m turning 24 this year and I feel like I’m trapped in my teenage years.”

Truly, answers to prayers are not like your cup of instant noodles.  When I asked God to make me grow up, He sent several mastery tests for me to take. One of which is a major examination on Budget Planning 101.

Because of my growing expenses and my stagnant source of income, making a budget for my very single life these days became a little more complicated than before.  Don’t get me wrong though. I regret none of the beautiful tours I made this year (my first time to pay for my own airfare) and the practical gadget investments I made (a quality PC I bought on my own, a portable hard drive for my extra files). These things have not reached the spoiled brat’s level, but the fact that I have to pay all this on my own is something that surprises me a bit.

Budget planning is not as easy as how I thought it was.  It takes a lot of Math, a lot of priority check, a lot of scheduling payments and scheduling cash withdrawals.  It takes a lot of patience to take the jeep instead of the shuttle.  It takes a lot of self-control not to buy Red Mango.

My budget planning class led me to do research on how to make the subject tolerable if not easy.  Here are some of the things I took note of that might also be helpful to you:

1. Priority List

Know your priorities. Easier said than done, right? But this one’s very important. If you know your priorities and stick to them, you’ll not regret any amount you shell out.

2. Be resourceful and independent.

Bring that stylish lunch box to the office to avoid spending for  lunch.  Young friends of mine find it really amusing that I bring a lunch box to the office.  Well, when you’re working and you’ve got no allowance from Mom and Dad, you really have to flaunt that cute lunch box at work.

Make use of home fitness videos if you can’t afford to pay the gym.  Learn how to prettify your nails on your own to skip that manicure in the salon.  Walk an extra mile (for a healthier you) instead of taking the tricycle.

3. Save up!

Whether you like it or not, savings is an important part of your life as a mortal who lives that urban lifestyle. Yes, you do! You’ll never know what will happen next– when you’ll be needing money for emergency, when your special someone will be wanting to tie the knot or when that opportunity for business will come your way.  You’ll never know what’s in the future so it’s important to be prepared.  But saving for the future is so hard when you have so many wants and a spending power to get what you want at present, right?  Here’s good news I heard from my friend Eunice.  BPI offers an account that lets you save some cash payday after payday! (Uyy, parang PR person ako ng BPI nito ah). But seriously, BPI Save-Up is a good way to start saving some of your earthly treasures.  You decide on the amount you want to save and how often you want to save.  It can be as low as P250 per week, every other week, once a month, twice a month.  (see link for details)  Plus, you get an Ayala Life Insurance once you open a BPI Save Up account. Cool!

4. Stick to the formula!

My friend KC shared with me a good equation in solving my budget woes.

income – savings = expenses

and should never be

income-expenses = savings

Good luck to my future tests on this subject! :p

Men who hate unsolicited road advice, men who play computer games, men who flirt a lot despite being taken, men who cook well, men who dream, men who love their family. At 24, I have a portfolio of men encounters DECENT enough to say that I have a working knowledge on masculine psychology despite my being an eligible bachelorette.

Despite my innocent and happy aura, once in my life, I admit I entertained the thought “Men are (pardon me for the term) assholes” .  Why not?  Some men played with my feelings. Some men treated me like dust.  Some men left me  for nothing. Some men made me a laughing stock. Some men ruined many lives. Men are monsters, right?

But when I think about it, these men who acted like jerks are actually not inside my precious world.  They are often the strangers, the aliens, the passers-by.  And when I think about the men inside my circle,  I start to believe that not all men are horrible creatures.

Now let’s talk about men…in my life.  This piece of writing is not meant to exult the guys in my world.  No, we’re not giving them a parade or a 21-gun salute.  I’ll share about them just to remind myself that not all men are evil and that men can be a sweet blessing a girl like me can be very grateful for.

Architect Arthur

Aside from being my dad and a faithful husband to my mom Ethel, Arthur Llana is my secret fan.  Here’s one proof.

Taty, as I fondly call my dad, is not a media supporter, and I know very well that he was secretly stressed for a whole year of my stay in the media.  But look what I found in his camera’s memory card!  A picture of my second super short TV appearance!   No doubt, he is a fan of his beloved daughter.

This supporter of mine is a prolific architect who has designed some impressive buildings, and his masterpiece is none other than his beautiful and happy home.   Here are some of the strategies he did to keep his happy home sturdy for many years:

1.  Balance between fun stuff and serious stuff

He may not be the coolest father on planet Earth (no Facebook account, frowns at not-so-conservative fashion, not so friendly to my male buddies), but Taty seriously knows how to have fun.   He indirectly instilled in me and my brothers the concept of proper enjoyment — clean, timely and disciplined.

I remember hearing him explain during a family party many, many years ago that there’s nothing wrong with drinking. In fact, he said that drinking sessions help people bond with each other in a comfortable, stress-free way.  It’s just a matter of discipline — knowing your bottle limits, the frequency of your drinking, the present state of your health, your age and the people you’re with.  So though there’s no clear rule in our household regarding drinking, this memory has always been my gauge every time I go out to party.  And lucky for the man, his daughter does not enjoy the taste of alcoholic beverages.

He’s definitely an ally when it comes to my youthful interests like travel, piano lessons, videoke sessions, facial and spa, rare badminton moments.  Permission easily granted.

But though he supports the family members in the recreational side, he’s firm when it comes to the serious sphere.  Serious refers to the responsibilities each of his children has. If there’s a time to play, there’s definitely a time to study, and when we study, we must study well.  If there’s a time to study, there must be a time to pray, and when we pray, we pray well.

2. Diplomatic Communication

My brothers and I follow my father’s rules not because he’s as scary as a lion, but because he communicates his orders in a very diplomatic way.  Sure, he raises his voice when he’s too angry, but he does not shout at us in front of many people. When I do something wrong, he points it out in a firm yet humanly-acceptable manner.

3.  Personal Relationship with God

If curiosity bothers you why the Llana children are  into heavenly matters, you just have to be with my father for a day and you’ll understand why. Sometimes I really find the set up at home rather weird.  One time, I heard my parents having a little calm argument regarding the verse of the bible passage they are discussing.  That’s surely odd for outsiders.  I thank God, however, that my parents argue over a bible verse and not over crazy, worldly differences that make other couples’ relationships irreconcilable (as they say).

If you’re gonna ask him, a personal relationship with God is the most important thing in this life, and the choir thing, Sunday service, outreach programs are just ways to achieve and deepen that relationship.

Heartthrob Chad

Believe it or not, this eldest of the Llana children used to be a heartthrob. During his “kabataan”, many girls found his golden voice, baby face, friendly nature and guitar ability simply irresistible.  Hahaha!  I remember when I was still in grade school, bubbly high school girls would come to me and say, “Hi! Ikaw yung sister ni Chad tska ni Jedd? Ang cute mo naman!”.  Oh well, at a young age, I knew they were admirers of my bros.

But putting aside the boy-next-door traits, I agree that KC (Kuya Chad) is really lovable.  And if you’re gonna ask me why, I’d say because he’s a possible nominee for a Mother Teresa Award (if one should exist).  I must concede that my eldest brother is the most selfless and angelic among us three.  Isusubo na lang nyan, ibibigay pa niya sa ibang mas nangangailangan. He’s my idol when it comes to service.  He’d buy balot from the poor balot vendor not because he liked one but because he knew that the balot vendor with disability was so in need of financial help.  He offers his talents in singing and guitar playing by being the head of our church group’s music ministry.

KC is also a caring and responsible son and brother.  He was the one who’d clean my butt (yuck!) when I was still a toddler whenever Mom was away.  He was the one who’d remind me and my other brother to thank Mom and Dad whenever they brought us to SM.  He was the brain behind the super sweet and thoughtful Christmas gift for our parents (a tape record of three of us singing Christmas songs).  He was the one who’d patiently listen to my teen-aged love stories.  He was the one who wanted me to grow up experiencing some trials so that I’d be able to grow strong through God’s grace.

Now, he is a loving husband to my sister-in-law Manay and a responsible father to my nephew Ethan.

Mighty Jedd

If KC is gentle and friendly, KJ (Kuya Jedd) is quite an opposite.  He exudes this tough, strict and serious aura that makes my male friends (with or without ulterior motives) a little intimidated.

Little do they know that this apparently scary brother of mine is a certified sweetie.  He’d bring home fries he bought in the canteen for me.  He was my constant playmate in the house in my entire childhood.  He’d create two imaginary characters (named Fireshim and Fire-Fire) using his fingers just to entertain me and tickle my armpits.   He’d let me walk on his big back (which I imagined was a bridge I needed to cross to win the game) so I could play Takeshi Castle, the Jedd and Gwen version.  He combed my hair once when he saw his little sister’s hair so unruly and Mom wasn’t around.  He was the one who told me that I should know how to dance because I’m a girl.  He  presented to be my escort on my 18th birthday. He was the one who patiently fetched me after late night-outs for many, many years.

KJ is the more human brother of mine (KC is kinda celestial in some ways).  He’s mad when he’s mad. He’s happy when he’s happy.  He’s not afraid to say what he has to say and to show what he really feels.  And that’s what I like about him.  He got the firm attitude of our Lolo. That’s why he is not easily intimidated or put down by other people or the circumstances he goes through.  And when he dreams of something, he doesn’t just sit and wait for his dream to come true.  With determination, guts and faith, he goes out there and does what he can to get his dream.  One obvious example is how he captured the heart of my sister-in-law Karen (the story of which deserves another page).

Perky Ethan

The apple of my eye! Since the day he was born, my nephew Ethan hasn’t stopped bringing joy to the whole family.  He is the answer to my prayer (through the intercession of Pope John Paul II).  I asked for a pamangkin na boy na masayahin at medyo hawig ko.  After a few weeks, my brother whispered to me while I was half asleep that my sister-in-law Ate Manay was pregnant. Joy to the world!

Ethan is a little man. The way he speaks and thinks like a big boy really amuses me.  And he never fails to cheer up everyone with his funny gestures, faces and jokes. Believe me, this 4-year-old cracks funny jokes naturally.

PIJOJO Clowns

Aside from my two blood brothers, I was blessed with many more brothers who do not own a Llana surname.  Three of these regular clowns/story tellers/listeners/body guards of mine are Pips, Joshua and Joseph. They are my church friends who happened to know a lot about what I’m going through.   And I know that if someone attempts to do something bad to me, they’ll be next to my real-life brothers in the line-up of my body guards.

I know. There’s still a vacant seat here.  You’re probably waiting for the boyfriend to be talked about.  Well, I’m waiting too. Haha! If this vacancy’s meant to be filled, it will be in God’s time.  But for now, having these awesome men in my life is more than enough for me to say…THANK GOD FOR GOOD MEN!

]]> http://gwencie.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/277/feed/ 1 Gwen art llana gwen on tv chad llana jedd llana ethan llana pijojo http://gwencie.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/fashionably-curly/ http://gwencie.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/fashionably-curly/#comments Sat, 19 Jun 2010 16:09:18 +0000 Gwen Llana http://gwencie.wordpress.com/?p=173 ]]> Desire for something new and a picture of the beautiful Nina Dobrev inspired me to have my long black hair curled permanently.

curly Nina

Well, not really permanently. My hair is naturally wavy so eventually it’ll go back to being semi-straight.

After 2 years of pondering on whether or not to curl my hair, I decided to have a curling session with my best friend Waway in one of today’s popular beauty salons Tony and Jackie.  When we we’re still dreamy high school students, my best friend and I would day dream about pampering ourselves together in a nice salon.  After 8 years (grumaduate muna, nag trabaho, nag resign, nag trabaho ulit, nag ipon), our long time dream finally came true!

curly gwen and waway

Alright, so my curls aren’t as lovely as Nina’s, but I love them!

I know there will be days when I’m gonna miss my long black hair.

But it’s always exciting to welcome a few changes and put up with the challenge of being happy and confident with your own decision.

Of course, laiteras and inggiteras have nasty things to say about my new hair style, but why should I care about what they say when people with sophisticated  fashion taste (Karen Sta.Maria-Llana and Miss Kelly, for instance) gave thumbs up for my new do?

And it’s not just about being attractive to other people. It’s about making a dream come true and being pleased and confident with your own look.

So for the next few months, I’ll enjoy being fashionably curly!

with cheerful chin-chin

I met 5-year-old Francine Mae Orea (a.k.a. Chinchin), a strong little girl suffering from Leukemia, during my 23rd birthday party at  AFP Medical Center (one of Kythe’s affiliate hospitals) last May 2009.  She has been confined in the hospital since she was 2 years old.

One afternoon, I visited Chinchin and other sick children in AFP. To my surprise, the bubbly Chinchin could no longer stand and see. Side effects of her treatment, according to her grandmother. She could no longer play in the play room. She could not even draw and play lutu-lutuan on her own.

Despite all this, Chinchin was still able to give her best smile to me as I entered her room. Her smile radiated, as if it wasn’t owned by someone suffering from Leukemia. She entertained me with her innocent and lively stories for almost 2 hours, without any complaint. Despite the pain her tiny body was feeling, Chinchin managed to be strong like her favorite character Darna, not because she had a “bato”, but because she entrusted her entire life to her parents, her doctors and nurses and God.

Chinchin: Ate, wala na kong buhok. Tsaka masakit yung tusok nila sakin.

Gwen: Di bale Chin, idadasal na lang natin kay Jesus na pagalingin ka ah.

Chinchin: Opo. Kanina nidalaw namin si Jesus ni Mama. Sabi ko kay Jesus pagalingin ako kasi gusto ko na haba na ulit buhok ko. Para kamukha ko na si Darna. Sabi ni Jesus, papagalingin daw nya ko. Basta kumain lang daw ako ng carrots at talbos para lalakas ako at tatangkad pa.

This girl really helped deepen the way I see life.  If someone like her can look beyond her extra large sufferings and still appreciate life’s beauty because of God’s love and mercy, then a grown up like me with small to heavy sufferings should be ashamed of not having a cheery disposition and a grateful heart.

Kythe Foundation has been an instrument in this life-changing experience.  The organization welcomes volunteers who want to:

Do Playroom Activities with the patients
Help facilitate Kythe’s Integrated Reading Program… Or simply be a recreational playmate!

Do Bedside Activities with the patients
Read books to the children or tell them stories. Serenade them with your songs or accompany them on the guitar. Play with them. Do arts and crafts like bead making, drawing, painting, papier mache, clay moulding, etc. Assist in Kythe’s Play-With-Baby and Rock-A-Bye-Baby program.

If you feel in your heart a call to service, being a Kythe volunteer is one of the many opportunities.  Kythe conducts monthly orientation for new volunteers.  You may check Kythe Foundation for schedule.

celebrated my 23rd birthday with some friends and Kythe children

my friend jenny with patients in afp medical center

chinchin and other patients dancing during my 23rd birthday party

Not so many minutes after, the water level inside the house raised to an alarming level.  It reached above the waist of my brother who was 5 feet, 8 inches tall.  “Now, this is not normal,” I realized.  People in the house kept on bringing the important stuff like food, appliances, the computers in my dad’s office to the second floor.  My role was to bring everything they carried until the first landing of our staircase to a safe spot in the second floor.  I felt like I was in a scene in Titanic wherein the ship is sinking and waters from everywhere is entering the hallway.  This time, the words “mercy” and “parang awa mo na” were included in my silent prayer.

the first round of ondoy's presence

our neighbor's car submerged in flood

I saw our dogs swimming with us in the dark brown water. Reminded me of Noah’s ark.

I saw our big refrigerator being carried along by currents of dirty water.

I saw myself braving the waves (Yes waves! Surprisingly, this flood had wave effects similar to that of Fontana’s famous wave pool.)  just to save the bananas on top of the table from getting wet.

I saw lamps, figurines, jars, sofa, dining table, pillows helplessly floating everywhere.

A few more ticking of the clock and the entire first floor of the house (floor to ceiling) was filled with water.  Not much photo proof for this because saving things and praying were more important than photo ops.  The water level reached the first landing of our staircase.  Our two cars snorkeled in the Ondoy-made pool.

Thank God for the second floor where my parents, brother, three employees of my dad, our laundry lady Aling Teray and I stayed until 8 p.m.  Thank God my brother was able to save the drinking water, sardines, bread and skyflakes.  Perfect for survival!  In the second floor, we waited for about nine hours.  We waited for the rain to stop, the flood to vanish, the rescue boats to come.  In the second floor, we prayed, ate our survival food, cracked jokes, sang songs, cracked jokes again, told stories and stood in awe of the power of the Creator.

neighbors swimming

We were stuck in the second floor of the house and the rain wouldn’t stop.  If the rain did not stop and the water level continued to rise, last options were the attic and the roof.  After that, a non-swimmer like me would be doomed, and it echoed in my head how almighty is the Almighty.  He alone can command the rain to stop, the flood to vanish.  He alone can make things OK.  He alone knows why Philippines had to go through an Ondoy experience.  Deep inside, I knew he told my mind to stop worrying because things would be OK.

I, a girl from Quezon City, also experienced and survived Ondoy.  At 8 p.m., the flood left and we were able to enjoy dinner in the house of the Pangilinan family.  The next chapter was How To Fix…

The material damages (house and cars) may be great, but we’re still blessed.  Everyone in the family was safe.  We still had complete body parts. Even our dogs were alive.  We were able to keep our clothes, food and other important things.  We had many helpful friends who offered their time, treasure, home, food to help us recover.

We felt sorry for other Filipinos who went through worse than what we experienced.  We may not understand why things like this should happen, but truly God was in control.  And one good thing about Ondoy was that it reminded all of us that our life, every part of it, depends on Him.

True enough, things became OK.  After some months of sacrifice, hard work and patience (Kudos to my parents!), our Ondoy-stricken house redeemed its beauty.  Just in time for Christmas!   Someone was indeed in control.

“When I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember the covenant between me and you and every kind of living creature, so that never again will floodwaters destroy all flesh.” Genesis 9: 14-15

For, in this road, I will never again pass.

So while I’m here, I shall not whine

About the dreams and reality that do not align.

And though a promise of a sweet future seems surreal from here,

I need to continue walking until I reach what’s clear.

Days of weariness come and go

And it seems that fear and frustration are all that I sow.

And sure I’ll be honest that I’m tired of all this,

But You said it’s what happens in between that I should not miss.

So though I’m tired, I shall go on

Until I see that, in this battle, we’ve won

And everything that will happen between now and that day

Will be the exact things that You promise every time that I pray.

*Produkto ng pagpipilit mag isip ng rhyming words habang nangungulit kay God kung ano ba ang magiging flow ng aking makulay na buhay.